This may not seem to relate to the story, but it does in my brain... a couple of months back, my friend ended up with Flux Pavilion tickets for really cheap. When she got them, she was like "Yay!" and I was like "Who? What?" then she said that fateful word --- "dubstep" and a shiver ran down my spine as I quickly shook my head back and forth in judgment: "No friend of mine shall attend a dubstep show (not with me in tow, anyway)". And so, time moved forward, as time finds a way of doing. I filed away in the back of my head that one day in the future my friend would go on her dubstep adventure without me and I would stay home and watch Glee while eating Ramen Noodles, which is still an improvement in my book.
On that fateful day, said friend emailed me that she couldn't get a sitter. Her boyfriend offered to sit on her kid, but her sister was busy so could not go with her. She could go to the show -- if only she could find someone to go with her. Apparently, every person she had ever known was "busy" that night. I think they just didn't want to say "um, no, actually, I do not want to hear any dubstep music, thank you." Me, being the most awesome friend in the whole world (no debating) said "Well, you know I'd rather shove an ice pick in my ear, but if you can't find anyone to go with you, I can go." She said "What is an ice pick?" but that is a whole other story about being friends with someone 10+ years your junior.
That evening, as I was preparing myself, I realized that I do not know anything about dubstep culture except what I've learned from Key & Peele's skit (I linked on a previous blog, you figure it out). The other thing I knew is that I was pretty sure that I was not going to just blend in with the crowd. I didn't even know what to wear. I wore one of my less-mom-looking shirts (I'm not a mom, but I'm old enough to dress like one) and headed out, still pretty sure I was going to hate life for the next several hours.
Met up with Miss Friend and she also had difficulty knowing what to wear. Doesn't matter so much when you're young and hot... but anyway, we headed to the destination of doom and as we got about a block away started noticing a lot of mostly naked young "ladies" in tutus and some sort of yeti legs heading in the same direction. I began to pray and say curse words at the same time. I am not a fan of all ages shows (or 16+ shows, which are just about the same thing) and this was going to be a weird, weird experience.
We arrived during the first DJ. Don't know who he was. It was okay. Really, it was. We went outside and watched some teenager puke 13 times (never a good sign if you puke 13 times before 9 pm) and came back in after awhile and there was another DJ. He was boring. Went back outside. Another DJ...this one in a mask. I didn't really get it either, but what I did think was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. was that this dude was flopping all around, I don't even know how to explain it. I tried to take a picture, but he was flapping his arms so fast they came out cone-shaped. How this dude did whatever you call what he was doing while flapping his arms so hard he probably threw both shoulders out of place I do not know. Anyway, tolerable. By this time, I was sitting on the floor watching the teenage freak show. I really have no desire to see teenagers in their underwear and sorta hope you do not either, but there were millions of them here. I kind of felt like I was going to get arrested just for having my eyes open.
What seemed like an eternity passed and finally, this Flux Pavilion fella finally took the stage. It was okay. Let me tell you, saying it was OKAY is like 1000000083 times better than what I thought it was going to be. There were 2 redeeming qualities: I didn't have to pay for it and um......... ...... ......... ...... ..... I'm sure there was another redeeming quality that I will think of someday.
I left less traumatized than I expected. Is that a redeeming quality?
Proof I was there.
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