Chicago (the movie) is one of my favorites. I've also seen the play performed in the past and had previously decided I wanted to see some other performances for comparison.
Tickets were only $12, so I sent my mom to pre-purchase the tickets during the week. The Liberty Center where the performance took place is a small theater, I was surprised when she told me she got us front row seats a couple of days before the premier, but chalked that up to luck. When I was little...we'd gone to see plays put on by what I am assuming is the same group and I remembered them being good. There was Mame, Brigadoon, maybe Harvey... Well, something changed. Either I became more judgemental or this was just bad.
While we were waiting for the performance, I was still optimistic. The stage was small, but the setting had promise. The orchestra pit was part of the stage, which I liked -- especially considering the theme of the show.
Anyway, the lights go dim and so do my hopes as the bandleader starts the band off. I'm not sure if they were all playing the same song or if they just started on different pages. I never learned a wind instrument, but I spent a lot of time in the band room as a drummer while I was in school and never quite heard anything like that.
Wait. It gets better (no not really)...
Out steps the Master of Ceremonies, also the producer and the wife of the director. Dressed like a ringmaster, it seems that maybe having her moustache waxed for the special occasion was out of the question. Spotlights seem to enhances lady-'staches by the way. Next time, I'd consider going over your costume to trim off any dangling threads too since there were strings hanging from both cuffs long enough to tie around my finger to remind me of this horrible evening.
Luckily, the "actress" playing Velma Kelly can carry a tune. She was a bit of a Clydesdale, but still... I was thankful she was tolerable. Tolerance didn't last long.
Next comes the scene when Roxie kills Fred. We were in a small theater, I think using a starters' pistol was poorly thought out. Pretty much everyone there left with hearing damage... I guess I should be grateful.
Roxie's roll was filled by a cute "redhead" I think the hair dye might have come from the Happy Meal dye collection since it had an odd tint of purple to it, but that's okay. Even better, the actress had a terrible, horrible, very bad lisp that pretty much sounded just like Daffy Duck. Sexthy! So, up climbs Roxie onto the piano to sing Funny Honey the notes on the sheet music are really just suggestions aren't they? Oh, dear. I had my hands over my face by that point and leaned over to my mom to explain "THIS IS BAD" not to mention I was trapped in the front row with no ability to exit until intermission.
The next few numbers were tolerable. Not GOOD, but by then I had become numb to the pain until Mary Sunshine had her turn. Oh, sweet Lord in heaven, why have you betrayed us? Afterward, other members of our party optimistically guessed that she sang the song poorly "on purpose" for some sort of effect. Sure, sure try to play that angle ladies. That's why everyone on stage was wincing right along with us. This lady should not be allowed to sing in public ever again. I'm going to the next city council meeting to try to get a law started banning her from it.
By this time, this started being the funniest play I'd ever seen. Have you seen The Producers? You know that musical about Hitler, where everyone started storming out in anger and then ended up rolling in the aisles from laughter? I decided that was my only way to make it through the evening. So the rest of the show I spent in hysterical laughter, shaking my head in disbelief, covering my face in horror and occasionally exclaiming "Oh, this is so BAD".
I will freely admit that Ben Jackson (Billy Flynn) had a decent singing voice...keeping in mind who I was comparing him with.
I know, I'm a horrible person right? No. No, I'm not. I'm an honest person. Besides, this is like a public service announcement. If you live in central Missouri, are able to memorize lines, and are looking for your 15 minutes of fame... contact the Liberty Center Association of the Arts for an audition... this could be your lucky day!
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